JC: Right, Hammond, I'm going to interview you.
RH: Go away, I'm busy.
JC: No you're not. You're lounging about on a sofa. How is that in any way 'busy'?
RH: Seriously, sod off.
JC: So that's you being 'busy' is it? Sitting there reading a magazine about off roading?
RH: Yes, this is me being busy.
JC: A magazine that's basically about murderers, for murderers.
RH: Either do this interview or I'm going to leave the room. And when I come back I may have a knife.
JC: A knife? My case rests. Classic murderer behaviour. Or should I say, classic off roader behaviour.
RH: I'm going.
JC: Wait, wait, wait. Here we go. Question 1. Are you, Richard Hammond, a big gaylord? I'm just going to write 'yes'.
RH: For the love of God.
JC: Are you, Richard Hammond, so small that medically you're classed as a dwarf and you can get free shoes from the government?
RH: Right, that's it. I'm going to find something to kill you with.
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